Copied and Pasted Lists of Toxicity

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
  

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Okay, fine. You have to forgive me for just copying this WHOLE article. I concur to everything she have said and I don't have anything to add up. It's like, 'yeah, I have those people in my life.' Darn. Picture my life. Wahahaha! But no worries, I can make it through the day and be recharged the next day. Am I blessed or what? A huge difference to have Someone bigger than yourself, My God. :D

Source

Happily Melancholic

I am predominantly melancholic and I'm a work in progress. I may think or wallow too much, but hey, that's me. Meet me in person, you'll gonna love me. Wink!

I've tried this test just for fun from Jehiah that gave me results of:
43% Melancholy, 30% Phlegmatic, 20% Choleric and 8% Sanguine. As much as i wanted to be sanguine, I can't. Me sad. :(

Okay, I have to brush away those negative thoughts so I'll just focus on my strengths. Here it goes...

Strengths of a Melancholy
The Introvert | The Thinker | The Pessimist

The Melancholy's Emotions

* Deep and thoughtful
* Analytical
* Serious and purposeful
* Genius prone
* Talented and creative
* Artistic or musical
* Philosophical and poetic
* Appreciative of beauty
* Sensitive to others
* Self-sacrificing
* Conscientious
* Idealistic

The Melancholy As A Parent

* Sets high standards
* Wants everything done right
* Keeps home in good order
* Picks up after children
* Sacrifices own will for others
* Encourages scholarship and talent

The Melancholy At Work

* Schedule oriented
* Perfectionist, high standards
* Detail conscious
* Persistent and thorough
* Orderly and organized
* Neat and tidy
* Economical
* Sees the problems
* Finds creative solutions
* Needs to finish what he starts
* Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists

The Melancholy As a Friend

* Makes friends cautiously
* Content to stay in background
* Avoids causing attention
* Faithful and devoted
* Will listen to complaints
* Can solve other people's problems
* Deep concern for other people
* Moved to tears with compassion
* Seeks ideal mate---->that's what I'm talkin' about. Hahaha!

You can try this free Personality/Temperament Test on OneIShy.com
Have fun guys! :)

To My Confused Friend

A friend of mine asked me what I think about his current situation. His girlfriend dumped him for another guy and he's trying to move on with his life. He's currently trying to woo someone when all of a sudden his ex-girlfriend called him up and asked him if they could mend their previous relationship . He's confused. I dunno what's the real deal between him and his current 'almost friend' and his ex-girlfriend. I'm not even sure why he asked me such question. Maybe an affirmative action for a lame excuse to dump someone or simply the truth.

I am an expert wannabe so I said, "As a friend I’d ask you, do you still love her? Kse if you do, what are the chances are you willing to take? Have you forgiven her and willing ka bang tanggapin siya ulit? K’se if you did forgive her, you should be sure to yourself that you won’t be throwing what she did to you on her face. New life." Naks!

Well, he's confused. What can I say? He's confused. Period. I can't blame him.

With his current situation, it made me rethink with what I had with my old boyfie whom I had the longest relationship I ever had. An on/off relationship, he was my first boyfriend, he became my last, he WAS the love of my life and he was my childhood sweetheart. A big part of my past maybe that's why I had a hard time to let him go THEN. Let's see...

He was my first boyfriend when we were in HS for about a year but we have to break it off simply because we're too young.

Went to college, I met other good looking and wonderful guys whom I had relationships with.

Then we meet again. He's financially stable and managing their family-owned business/company while I was busy earning my second degree. We became an item again.

He's a guy you want to spend your time with. He's good looking, full of surprises, mysterious, intellectually stimulating, exciting and full of fun. So what is it that made me end it with him? We grew up separately within our relationship. Couldn't find common ground for both of us anymore.

Since I became a Christian when I was in HS I have grown so much spiritually while he, on the other hand, is not a Christian and cannot comprehend what it really is to become one.

So that's it. The end of story. He's happy now and I am happy where I am.

As for my confused friend, I hope you consider the following common bad dating beliefs before you decide to date again:

* You choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs.
* You think love has to be difficult, painful, and/or hard.
* You think your potential partner is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your life.
* You believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children.

Godspeed to you amigo!

Source

Smile, Smile and Smile!

If you want to know whether your marriage will survive, look at your spouse's yearbook photos.


Psychologists have found that how much people smile in old photographs can predict their later success in marriage.


"Maybe smiling represents a positive disposition towards life," said study leader Matthew Hertenstein, a psychologist at DePauw University in Indiana. "Or maybe smiling people attract other happier people, and the combination may lead to a greater likelihood of a long-lasting marriage. We don't really know for sure what's causing it."

Well, smile is the cheapest way to improve one's face so I guess, you'll pretty much attract more people that constitutes larger scale of social network which can lighten some burden within marriage.  So I guess, it's all about smile, eh?  Now I know, why my friend is still single.  Nyahaha!

Source: Smiles Predict Marriage Success

Trust-O-Meter

Start by thinking of someone important to you, and rate your trust in that person on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = lowest possible trust, 5 = highest). Then, evaluate the person by recalling your observations of his or her behavior.

Here are a few obvious questions I've found very helpful in quantifying the trustworthiness of people in my own life. The first three are the "yes" questions; if Person X is completely trustworthy, you'll answer yes to all three. The second three are the "no" questions—if Person X deserves your trust, the answer to all three will be negative.

The "yes" questions:

1. Does Person X usually show up on time?

2. When Person X says something is going to happen, does it usually happen?

3. When you hear Person X describing an event and then get more information about that event, does the new information usually match Person X's description?

The "no" questions:

4. Have you ever witnessed Person X lying to someone or assuming you'll help deceive a third person?

5. Does Person X sometimes withhold information in order to make things go more smoothly or to avoid conflict?

6. Have you ever witnessed Person X doing something (lying, cheating, being unkind) that he or she would condemn if another person did it?

Wow! Makes me glad that I've got great friendS who are trustworthy enough and definitely deserves my trust!

You can check out Oprah's site. Have fun!

Returning Favors

I find this interesting.

"the norm of reciprocity -- one of the best-studied norms in psychology -- is a powerful factor here: You've offered to do a favor for that person, so now that person is going to be motivated to return the favor."

Well, I guess, if I want something from someone I'll just use this concept. Wink!