Tuesday, January 12, 2010

To the Lonely Single: Why you should NOT Fall in LOve and Why Waiting Sucks

I wanted to be married since age 4, and the goal was to be married by perhaps max at age 22. And though I finally settled at 29, I always tell my husband “I wish I knew you earlier”. And Lord God, why didn’t I? I could have been spared all the heartaches and misery I had to deal for years!!!

But I can only imagine God giving me this lopsided grin, asking : “Oh,Really?”

And with a scratch on my head I say “Yeah, yeah… I know Your ways are higher than mine and all… but I think now I know why”

Because it is best to be in love when you have already stopped hoping to just FALL IN LOVE. Sorry, but romantic as I am, I don’t believe in FALLING in love. It does not happen by accident - like you were just walking on the road and because you weren’t looking you “fall” on a manhole – that is what FALLING is (I know - tragic). No wonder it HURTS so much after “falling’ in love.

TO BE in love though is never by accident. To “Fall in Love” means you either intentionally look too closely, or stand over the edge, enabling you to most possibly - fall. You still made a choice.

I’m sorry it’s a cliché, but Love is indeed by choice. You love the person for no particular reason, provocation, or reward. You just do. Feelings, seasons, and unfortunately, people CHANGE all the time. And then where would you anchor love? . And how can you do all that when you yourself can still be so easily swayed with the things you believe you still need? Another person CANNOT provide you the answers for your life. Another person CANNOT fill your emptiness. Yes, I tried that. So I know.

Love can’t be like “you just fell and you couldn’t do anything about it anymore since you’re already there”. You love by commitment, not by some form of gravity.

Love is not “magic” – how can something so divine be a sleight of hand? That is unreal and cheating from the beginning. At least that’s what I think.

I am not taking the romance out of love. But romance should be the fruit of love, and not the other way around.

And that is what I did not know in the early days of youth. Or perhaps it was in my youth that God was teaching me those things, but only now that I begin to understand.

On the day that God brings you victoriously through that particular (long and lonely) battle ground, then you’ll understand.

You’ll understand why you had to fall for all the Mr. Wrongs you’ve had. You’ll know why it took foreeeever to find this one. You’ll know why you had to be broken, tattered, and remolded – for this one.

And that is all because ------ GOD IS GOOD. That He makes things beautiful in His time.

I know it sucks to be told to wait when you’ve already been waiting for ages.

But WHEN (and not if) the time comes, it won’t be by accident; it won’t be gravity; it won’t even be by chance. Destiny? Perhaps. But also with your will. You commit to love and someone else does the same for you. You commit all that to God.

I know you have heard it all before… but I am saying it differently: Don’t wait to fall in love. In fact, DON’T WAIT for the person at all.

The rule is to Wait ON GOD, and NOT to wait for the person. Ever wonder why you get sick and tired of waiting? Because waiting is like: the bus hasn’t arrived yet and you got to be somewhere already, or the person you’re meeting is stuck in traffic and he’s late for your appointment with him.

NO. Love comes in its proper time. It does not need to be waited on. He or she is never late nor too early.

But DO NOT PURSUE LOVE either (Yeah, I wish I followed that advice when I was younger)

" If it’s running away from you, it’s MOST probably not yours… helloww!!!???"

But why would any one listen to me? ...Unless you know me.
You know how I used to suck at all these; but that only means I’m practically a professional at this. To my single friends – I pray that the day comes for you.

And when it comes, let me know.
Because then I would need to tell you what happens when you finally find your better half - and you learn that he farts really nasty and that he forgets to flush.

Then you’ll understand why I say love is --INDEED- by choice. =)

Written by my aunt, DEGYA.


Still munching on these thoughts...Hmm...nguya...nguya...

Ang tita kong 'to, parang kapatid ko lang. 'Di nagkakalayo edad namin at sa bahay nila ako lumaki. Kaya parang nanay ko na rin yung grandaunt ko. Mahilig talaga siyang magsulat kahit nung nasa HS palang siya.

Tanda ko nung bata pa kami, madalas kaming mag-away kse saksaaaakan ng sungit. Masungit din naman ako pero pikon kse ako eh. Madalas mapikon sa kanya. Hehehe...Pero kahit ganyan yan, dahil sa kanya nakilala, ko ang Lord. Kaya kudos sa 'yo ate Czari! :-)


Anonymous said...
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David and Eva said...

Your post was awesome. I couldn't agree more.

Nancy said...

Your aunt sounds like a wise lady! It was nice of you to share this with people.

If you or someone you love WANTS to fall in love and increase their chances--2 of my best friends met their husbands on this site!


Best of luck!

Ana said...

I've been like you, wanting to get married since forever...only I'm 32 now and still single....and it really sucks to still be waiting for that special someone that would commit to be with me..... i agree with almost everything said, and still hate to be 32 and single and unable to just wait and enjoy being single!!!!!!

m said...

i don't agree with everything your aunt have said down pero i enjoyed reading it!it was funny and light:)

Lorenzo said...


Anonymous said...

Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)

Anonymous said...

OMG. ang galing ng auntie mo. Nakakatuwa. Hakhak. Having a relationship means having a commitment. Maski sa friendship, or any relationship. And I have learned lately that the best relationship that one could have is a relationship with God. Kasi once you're with Him, He will absoutely dwell in you eh, therefore making you wise and patient, and everything. Hahaha. Labo. Wala lang, thanks sa auntie mo at nakilala mo si God. God bless :)

phann son said...

Your aunt sounds like a wise lady! It was nice of you to share this with people.


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