Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Matane Ryutaro

Ryutaro,

Anata no koto ga koishiku naru to omoimasu.

Ai shi teru Ryu kun...



Ryutaro Jan 4, 2002 - Mar 21, 2010

Matane,

Onesan Payaso ♥♥♥

Friday, March 5, 2010

Heaven On Earth

This is Bora Bora in French Polynesia.

I can't wait to see this in the near future.

Haaaay...:-)

Photo by Tahiti Tourisme

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

To the Lonely Single: Why you should NOT Fall in LOve and Why Waiting Sucks

I wanted to be married since age 4, and the goal was to be married by perhaps max at age 22. And though I finally settled at 29, I always tell my husband “I wish I knew you earlier”. And Lord God, why didn’t I? I could have been spared all the heartaches and misery I had to deal for years!!!

But I can only imagine God giving me this lopsided grin, asking : “Oh,Really?”

And with a scratch on my head I say “Yeah, yeah… I know Your ways are higher than mine and all… but I think now I know why”

Because it is best to be in love when you have already stopped hoping to just FALL IN LOVE. Sorry, but romantic as I am, I don’t believe in FALLING in love. It does not happen by accident - like you were just walking on the road and because you weren’t looking you “fall” on a manhole – that is what FALLING is (I know - tragic). No wonder it HURTS so much after “falling’ in love.

TO BE in love though is never by accident. To “Fall in Love” means you either intentionally look too closely, or stand over the edge, enabling you to most possibly - fall. You still made a choice.

I’m sorry it’s a cliché, but Love is indeed by choice. You love the person for no particular reason, provocation, or reward. You just do. Feelings, seasons, and unfortunately, people CHANGE all the time. And then where would you anchor love? . And how can you do all that when you yourself can still be so easily swayed with the things you believe you still need? Another person CANNOT provide you the answers for your life. Another person CANNOT fill your emptiness. Yes, I tried that. So I know.

Love can’t be like “you just fell and you couldn’t do anything about it anymore since you’re already there”. You love by commitment, not by some form of gravity.

Love is not “magic” – how can something so divine be a sleight of hand? That is unreal and cheating from the beginning. At least that’s what I think.

I am not taking the romance out of love. But romance should be the fruit of love, and not the other way around.

And that is what I did not know in the early days of youth. Or perhaps it was in my youth that God was teaching me those things, but only now that I begin to understand.

On the day that God brings you victoriously through that particular (long and lonely) battle ground, then you’ll understand.

You’ll understand why you had to fall for all the Mr. Wrongs you’ve had. You’ll know why it took foreeeever to find this one. You’ll know why you had to be broken, tattered, and remolded – for this one.

And that is all because ------ GOD IS GOOD. That He makes things beautiful in His time.

I know it sucks to be told to wait when you’ve already been waiting for ages.

But WHEN (and not if) the time comes, it won’t be by accident; it won’t be gravity; it won’t even be by chance. Destiny? Perhaps. But also with your will. You commit to love and someone else does the same for you. You commit all that to God.

I know you have heard it all before… but I am saying it differently: Don’t wait to fall in love. In fact, DON’T WAIT for the person at all.

The rule is to Wait ON GOD, and NOT to wait for the person. Ever wonder why you get sick and tired of waiting? Because waiting is like: the bus hasn’t arrived yet and you got to be somewhere already, or the person you’re meeting is stuck in traffic and he’s late for your appointment with him.

NO. Love comes in its proper time. It does not need to be waited on. He or she is never late nor too early.

But DO NOT PURSUE LOVE either (Yeah, I wish I followed that advice when I was younger)

" If it’s running away from you, it’s MOST probably not yours… helloww!!!???"

But why would any one listen to me? ...Unless you know me.
You know how I used to suck at all these; but that only means I’m practically a professional at this. To my single friends – I pray that the day comes for you.

And when it comes, let me know.
Because then I would need to tell you what happens when you finally find your better half - and you learn that he farts really nasty and that he forgets to flush.

Then you’ll understand why I say love is --INDEED- by choice. =)

Written by my aunt, DEGYA.

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Still munching on these thoughts...Hmm...nguya...nguya...

Ang tita kong 'to, parang kapatid ko lang. 'Di nagkakalayo edad namin at sa bahay nila ako lumaki. Kaya parang nanay ko na rin yung grandaunt ko. Mahilig talaga siyang magsulat kahit nung nasa HS palang siya.

Tanda ko nung bata pa kami, madalas kaming mag-away kse saksaaaakan ng sungit. Masungit din naman ako pero pikon kse ako eh. Madalas mapikon sa kanya. Hehehe...Pero kahit ganyan yan, dahil sa kanya nakilala, ko ang Lord. Kaya kudos sa 'yo ate Czari! :-)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Forgive.

It is time to finally forgive myself. I have carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. I have kept my wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. I'll keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, I know what I'm talking about.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Failed to Remember

June 10, 2008 was my first post on this blog and that makes...

MY BLOG'S 1ST BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday Payaso!!!

My last post was the day after my blog's birthday. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

Getting old.

Affirmative.

Today is my birthday.

Care to greet me?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Navel and Tongue Rings

Plano ko bumili nito at saka nito. K'se dati may navel and tongue piercings ako, eh kaso nagsara na dahil tinanggal ko na kaya clip-ons nalang muna siguro (nyahaha...napapaesep kse ako kung pabubutasan ko ba ulit). Yung tongue ring ko kse dati ay solid titanium medical na de-ikot yung pakaw. Ang tanda ko, lunch time namin no'n tapos may nakagat akong matigas tapos nilunok ko. Tapos maya-maya natanggal sa dila ko yung hikaw at narealize ko na pakaw pala yung nalunok ko. Eh wala akong pambili ng hikaw ulit k'se mahal pa no'n kaya toothpick nalang nilagay ko. Natatanggal at saka masakit edi tinanggal ko nalang. Ayun, di ko na nalagyan ng hikaw. Yung sa belly button ko naman kse ang tagal gumaling. K'se nung college nakaskirt ang girls, natatamaan kaya ang sakit. Tinanggal ko muna yung navel ring ko tapos nawala. Pinalitan ko nalang ng earring, eh ang sakit. Tinanggal ko nalang. Ayun, ang naiwan lang eh peklat. Henako. Kelloidal pa naman ang aking malasutlang skin. Hahaha...

Gusto ko bumili k'se pupunta ako ng beach. Two piece swimsuit ang balak kong suutin. Ang taray diba? Aba, isang buwan na akong nagtotone ng maskels ko sa tiyan at braso no. Dapat na sigurong ibalandara ang seksing katawan. Nyahaha! Excited na si payaso! Weeeee...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

From Your Bottom To My Face

On Sunday night during the 18th Annual MTV Movie Awards, when Sacha Baron Cohen's alter-ego Bruno descended from the rafters and landed fanny-first on Eminem's head, most folks figured that the rapper's rage was the real deal. Suckers! Not only was Eminem in on the joke, he and Baron Cohen rehearsed it to make sure it would all go according to plan.

You can check out Yahoo! Buzz Log and Chicago Tribune for stories about the fake stunt

Anyways, I can't stop laughing even if I've seen this trailer for the hundredth time.

Undoubtedly K.O.B.

In becoming forcibly and essentially aware of my mortality, and of what I wished and wanted for my life, however short it might be, priorities and omissions became strongly etched in a merciless light, and what I most regretted were my silences.
Of what had I ever been afraid? To question or to speak as I believed could have meant pain, or death. But we all hurt in so many different ways, all the time, and pain will either change or end. Death, on the other hand, is the final silence. And that might be coming quickly, now, without regard for whether I had ever spoken what needed to be said, or had only betrayed myself into small silences, while I planned someday to speak, or waited for someone else's words.
And I began to recognize a source of power within myself that comes from the knowledge that while it is most desirable not to be afraid, learning to put fear into perspective gave me great strength.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Copied and Pasted Lists of Toxicity

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
  • Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
  • Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
  • Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
  • Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
  • Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
  • Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
  • Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
  • Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Okay, fine. You have to forgive me for just copying this WHOLE article. I concur to everything she have said and I don't have anything to add up. It's like, 'yeah, I have those people in my life.' Darn. Picture my life. Wahahaha! But no worries, I can make it through the day and be recharged the next day. Am I blessed or what? A huge difference to have Someone bigger than yourself, My God. :D

Source

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Pagninilay

Si Mr. Nognog and obchoinkchoink. The tall and the petite. The man who works in the middle east and a housewife in pinas. A happy couple. Just got married in a christian garden wedding. so happy for them.



Kung gusto n'yo pang kiligin at mapangiti, punta lang kayo sa blog ng ardeytology.